Aphrodite knows that seduction is all about being secure in who you are – with or without a man. Being your own woman, taking good care of yourself, and having your “stuff” together. Originally, virgin goddesses such as Aphrodite were not so much celibate as they were self-possessed, independent, and whole unto themselves. A seductive woman knows her own worth. Her dedication to her own passions is part of her allure.
If he wants to be with your hot self, he had better earn it!
WWAD? What Would Aphrodite Do?
Would she cast her pearls (or pink diamonds) before undeserving men? No! She waits and only gives of herself if a man has truly earned the privilege of her love, affection, and attention.
Aphrodite would never bend over backwards for a man. If being hard-to-get is good enough for Aphrodite, it is certainly good enough for us mere mortals.
Too often, women give too much too soon and end up hurt. With the so-called sexual liberation movement, women have more freedom to be the pursuer, chase men, ask men out, and have casual sex without reproach. But, does dating like a man really work? If a woman dates this way, how will she ever know if he “had to have her” or is just playing along because he’s flattered?
In 1995, the book The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing The Heart of Mr. Right burst on the scene and became an instant bestseller. In it, authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider argue for a return to the more traditional form of dating (man pursues woman). It struck a chord with millions of women, because it felt right and … It works!
As Oprah said, “The Rules isn’t just a book, it’s a movement, honey!” The authors have since published four more follow-up books with their most recent, Not Your Mother’s Rules, teaching women how to do The Rules given all the changes in technology.
Many say it is anti-feminist to expect a man to court you, pursue you, pay for dates, open doors, and initiate marriage. This critique is based on the assumption that these behaviors are grounded in the idea of the woman as the ‘weaker sex’ (dependent) and the man as the leader (independent).
But is it possible that in-fact, these behaviors demonstrate an honoring of Woman that the more modern tit-for-tat way of dating does not?
Is it possible that holding boundaries, making a man earn your love and attention, and being hard to get is not so much about being weak, but is actually a way to maintain your autonomy and avoid draining your energy?
I believe that chivalry is grounded in respect and reverence for women – not because we are “the weaker sex” (that’s a false understanding of chivalry). Women ought to be cherished and celebrated by the men who love them because we are precious.
Most women still desire a steady, loving relationship with a man who is crazy about them. But, millions waste years with men who will never commit or in a marriage that actually diverts her from her own life’s purpose.
On this website, I will share why chivalry, being hard to get, and doing The Rules® is actually the most empowering way to find love. It puts power back in the woman’s hands – where it belongs. I will explain why “The Rules” work and for a different reason than you may think.
Sign up here for updates on presentations, webinars, blogs, and my upcoming book
“Like A Virgin: How to Date with Dignity and Magnetize Your Mr. Right.”
My name is Charlotte Cressey. I hold a M.A. in Women’s Spirituality, a B.A. in Women’s Studies, am a certified Rules® Coach, graduate student, an animal liberation activist and educator, ecofeminist, the creator of Earth Energy Yoga®, a certified Chopra Center Meditation Instructor, lover of life, and enthusiast for the many benefits of a vegan lifestyle.
I believe in the revolutionary power of love and the innate kindness of the human heart.
As a radical feminist and scholar of women’s history and spirituality, my beliefs are grounded in uplifting and empowering all of humanity. I am committed to helping women live their best lives, avoid going-nowhere relationships, and preserve their energy so they can fulfill their purpose. I’ve seen too many women lose years ‘trying to make it work’ with men who aren’t even ‘that into’ them to begin with and of course these fizzle out eventually.
I read the first Rules book when I was 20 years old and in my mid-20’s began to really understand how much I needed The Rules. I studied The Rules through Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider’s Rules Dating and Relationship Coach program in 2013.
The Rules have helped me date with Confidence, Class, and Sass! Ellen and Sherrie’s important work has taught me to be the best I can be and that’s translated into more positive dating experiences. Before The Rules, dating depleted my energy. The Rules boosted my energy and made me feel great!
I love supporting women on this path!
Have a pressing question? Or need some Rules Coaching? Reach out to Charlotte here: