Make Yourself Scarce and Increase Your Value

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Make Yourself Scarce and Increase Your Value – DISAPPEARING BETWEEN DATES

Q & A Time….  Here’s a question from a fellow Rules Woman.

Disappearing between dates.
Hello Charlotte,

I have problems with the “disappearing between dates” thing. The man I’m dating is very kind and sends me little lovely messages between dates. Am I supposed to ignore every single one? Or can I answer now and again?

Hi Rules Woman,So happy you’re using The Rules so you can have boundaries and build self-esteem as you date.

To answer your question…  Yes, that’s correct you should essentially disappear between dates.  Give him room to want you.  Give him space to come your way.  

As far as responding to his flattery and sweet messages:

It depends on how long you’ve been dating, what the level of commitment is, how everything else is going in the relationship.   So, I am assuming this is courtship phase and everything else is pretty Rulesy.

I wouldn’t worry about responding if I were you.

You can wait for 4-5 to pile up and text back “Thanks.”

Other Rules coaches have suggested letting a few pile up, then saying “Thanks, crazy busy with work.”  But, for me personally I don’t use the phrase ‘crazy busy’.  Like Aphrodite or any other self-assured woman, we know that our power comes from our calm even though we do definitely have a very rich, fulfilling, and fun schedule (what some may call crazy busy).  

Maybe in-person on a date you can mention how you appreciate his kind messages.  Just very simply say, ‘thanks for xyz, that was sweet’.  But, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it.
Again, don’t be the overeager puppy.  Be grateful and appreciative, but not as if his words fill a hole in your self-esteem.  You’re already confident, and beautiful inside and out.  It’s nice to be appreciated, but you do not depend on his words – nor hang on them.  

You know you’re an amazing woman and you are used to receiving praise from men.  You’re not like, “what?  he thinks I’m beautiful… awwww.  Wow…” Even if you feel that way on the inside, just exude the confidence of a queen.  Build yourself up inside until you really believe it.  Words are nice, we all know actions speak louder than words.  Let him prove himself over time through his consistent attention, respect, and care for you.

This is a lesson for us all – learn to become less dependent on approval from men to know your worth.  Become self-defined, self-possessed, and self-referenced.  A-woman.  

With love and gratitude,

P.S.  Rules Ladies… Submit YOUR questions at the bottom of this page. or post directly to my new fb page If you haven’t yet liked and started following my page, please do!  I appreciate your support!  

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