Recommendation: Platinum Girl Celebrity Blog

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Hi Lovely Gals,

Happy Tuesday!

I highly recommend that if you have not yet read The Rules (TR) books, you read them so you have a strong foundation for what I’m sharing with you.

One of my favorite ways I’ve learned TR – besides reading the books, listening to their audios, watching their DVDs and doing coaching directly with Ellen and Sherrie is through reading Vanessa Taylor-Dalal’s Platinum Girl Celebrity Blog as well as her fabulous ebook on texting.  She’s a Rules success story, she did TR and met the man of her dreams.

Her website is fabulous!  If you have yet to check it out – I highly recommend you go visit this now!

Vanessa’s blog is a great way to learn The Rules and be entertained too.

Great points from her most recent article:

“…This made me think about how a woman will initiate a sexual encounter with a man and, once rejected, go to another for validation.

Maybe it doesn’t come in the form of sleeping with someone. Maybe it’s just one man isn’t responding to her texts so she reaches out to another. Or she resuscitates something with her ex in an attempt to make herself feel attractive. All because the first man didn’t want anything to do with her physically.

Instead of quitting while she’s ahead, the woman will keep on going to man after man, chasing and pursuing, let down after let down. She finds herself in a never ending cycle of plummeting self-esteem and possibly (but hopefully not), many walks of shame.”

This is why we do TR – we find fulfillment in other areas of our life and don’t let men’s approval or rejection define us.  We have our own life and only a man who pursues is worthy of our most precious commodities – our love, time, and attention.  

As Vanessa says, “Shine like Platinum.”

Have a beautiful day, lovely gals!

Love,
Charlotte

Be Exceptional. Don’t Believe You Are An Exception to The Rules.

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Paul-and-Linda-McCartney--007

Be exceptional. Don’t believe you are the exception to The Rules.

Paul-and-Linda-McCartney--007

Linda and Paul McCartney…An Exception to ‘The Rule’

One of my favorite real-life love stories is that of Linda and Paul McCartney. From the moment they met, they never spent a night apart. The beautiful photographer won over the Beatle within one day.  Linda’s kind heart influenced Paul in the direction of compassion and they became a power-couple championing animal rights and vegetarianism. Creativity and music was, of course, a big part of their life as well. They both appear to have been faithful and devoted until Linda died of cancer in 1998. Paul McCartney was a romantic, devoted, admiring husband throughout their marriage despite their quick start… Not because of it!

paul_linda

Linda and Paul McCartney posing for PETA in their “GO Veggie” and “STOP Eating Animals” shirts.

This love story is an exception to the rule. Spending every night with a man from the get-go does not usually work. No matter how infatuated with you he may be, a little mystery always goes a long way.

When it comes to love, we often want to believe we are beyond “The Rules”, that we get a ‘free pass’ and that a man’s love for us will overcome his human nature. Sometimes, we can be deluded by the high emotions of romance and forget that a man’s love and desire must grow over time in order for it to last a lifetime. Men value what they work for and they love a challenge!

There are certain things you can do to increase the likelihood that he’ll fall in love with you – like being hard to get, having your own life, and actually truly being exceptional. This is not an act. You are not ‘playing’ hard to get. You should truly be hard to get. Be like the sun.   Let your life have so much gravity of its own that no man can take you out of orbit. You will let some light shine his way, when it is convenient for you. But, never lose your center.

So, what is one of the top reasons women break TR (The Rules)?!!! They begin to think they’ve ‘got him’ and now they can relax. She will tell herself that “he is so into me. I can break TR now.” Perhaps he has been consistently courting you, bringing you flowers, and saying “I love you.” You may start to think he’s so into you that nothing could slow down his passion. But, believe it or not, when you meet a man who is so into you like this, now is actually the time to become even more committed to your life goals. To paraphrase Ellen and Sherrie, when you think you’ve met The One, now is the time to go get that MBA, go complete your degree, take up tennis, embark on whatever self-development and career goals you’ve been putting off. Do not carve more time out for him – devote even more time now to being your best self.

Be Aphrodite. Be the self-possessed, self-fulfilled, magnetic woman with a rich, exciting life. Keep practicing your spirituality and keep a full dance card.  Being exceptional means being the woman who does not go off-kilter when a man gives her lots of attention.  A woman who does not lose her cool and maintains her good graces will win him over in the long run.

Let’s look at this exception to the rules vs. being exceptional. . . Why is it that we want to be exceptions to TR. Is it coming from a place of insecurity or a desire for quick, easy gratification that we want to believe we can break rules and still marry the man of our dreams?

For example, women can get so caught up in the romance of the moment that they think “why not lay it all out there, put my heart on the line and tell him how I really feel about him.” Or, “this feels good and he seems really into me, I think I’ll go ahead and have sex with him tonight. I bet my sexy lace thong will even make him more infatuated.”   No no no! This is all wrong.  He must fall in love with your whole self, your soul, not your outer trappings.  This takes time and the more obstacles in the way to his sexual desires, the more he has an opportunity to get to know the whole you.

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The Rules still apply, a slow burn wins over a quick flame every time. Let a man’s desire for you build with time and it will last a life time. If you follow your momentary impulses you are that much more likely to be a transient fling for him. Don’t you want to be the elusive Aphrodite instead of the easy girl for a night?  You must be the one to pace the relationship.  If you don’t slow it down and keep your energy on your life, he will likely slowly fade out of view and court a woman who is more of the elusive butterfly.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your bedroom skills, hot underwear, or honest sharing about your ‘feelings’ is going to win him over.

tim-loughran-dentistry-floss

You don’t try to be an exception to the rule when it comes to dental hygiene, do you?

Think of the dentist. We all know flossing prevents cavities. Do you go to the dentist eager to prove you’re the one who is the exception to the rule, avoiding flossing and brushing your teeth just so you can prove you were the exception? No! You are smart and you floss and brush consistently because the risk is not worth the pain and hassle of cavities.

But, when it comes to love, we get caught up in the momentary feelings (and cultural lies about what creates legendary love) that we delude ourselves into thinking “I will be the exception.” Insecurities, or some egoic desire to ‘be the special one’ makes us rush in and do all the things that decrease our chances of actually creating that ecstatically happy marriage we all long for.

Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. Just do TR. Focus on being an exceptional woman. But, please, dear ones, do not believe you will be the exception to TR, you will only get heart broken or waste your time.  And, the world needs your time and energy to be devoted to your purpose in life.  Only give your time and energy to the men who have earned it.

With love and gratitude,

Charlotte

International Women’s Day

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

International Women’s Day

Going Live in 60 Minutes!

Tune in to World Vegan Radio  

One of my favorite vegetarian, feminist revolutionaries, Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

Good Afternoon!

In honor of International Women’s Day, tonight I’ll be sharing paradigm-shifting information on World Vegan Radio.

TONIGHT!!  Tuesday, March 8th – International Women’s Day
6:30 PT/ 8:30 CT/ 9:30 ET
Link to Listen Live: http://kpft.org/streamkpft_64.m3u

As you may know, what distinguishes me from many other dating coaches is my feminist perspective.  I believe that empowering women will change the world!

Tonight’s program will focus on the intersection of feminism and animal rights.  1 in 3 are raped or beaten worldwide.  For those of use who don’t experience physical violence, we still tend to internalize an inferiority complex from the larger patriarchal culture that says men are more important than women.  

I believe that if we, as women, want to change the paradigm in which , we must get to the root issues – one of which is the treatment of animals.  

The use-abuse of animals is the most powerful force maintaining a society that normalizes violence of all kinds.

Listen in tonight to learn how you can increase your confidence, self-esteem, and become an empowered citizen creating a better world for all.

With love and gratitude,
Charlotte

Read The Rules!

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Hi Lovely Gals,

Happy Sunshiny Sunday!

I highly recommend that if you have not yet read The Rules (TR) books, you read them so you have a strong foundation for what I’m sharing with you.

Consider their books Prerequisites for what I teach.

You can listen to The Rules, The Rules II, and Not Your Mother’s Rules all through Audible, audiobook downloads.

Or, if you’re a fan of the written word,  the book All The Rules, which combines TR and TR II.  After reading All The Rules, then read NYMR (Not Your Mother’s Rules).  But, read the ones from the 90’s first because they’re really foundational.  They’re available on Amazon in a hardcopy version and as ebooks.

Now to the topic today – SUNSHINE!

Did you know Sunday is named for the Sun?  It is!  Today is the perfect day to remember to be Sunshiny and L & B (Light and Breezy, as Ellen and Sherrie call it).

See if you can focus on the positive in your thought and speech.  When you’re on a date, don’t focus on problems, share what makes you happy and exude sunshine!

Women are often raised to believe the divulging information creates bonding.  While this may be good for deepening female friendships, too much too soon is the kiss of death when dating.

The Sun is radiant and its warmth gives life and beauty to the world.   Let your self-possessed, self-contained radiance shine out, but don’t do too much for the man in your life until he’s earned it.  The Sun has it’s own magnetic pull that causes the Earth to revolve around it.  It has mass, weight, and power.  Because the sun is so powerful (heavy), the Earth revolves around it.

Be like the Sun, give weight and gravity to your own goals and passions.  Be a CUAO (Creature Unlike Any Other See RULE 1!), know you’re a Queen, and let others come to you.  Do not chase men.  The Sun doesn’t chase…

Why push when you can pull?  Magnetizing Mr. Right is the name of the game – not working too hard to try to ‘win’ his love.

Just be like the Sun, beautiful, relaxed, and focused on your own purpose, goals, and life.

So, notice the Sun today (whether it’s cloudy or sunny where you live) this beautiful entity is giving light, so give thanks and feel its energy in every cell of your being.

Have a Sunshiny Sunday and remember to sparkle because you are precious.

Love,
Charlotte

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Dear Gorgeous Goddesses,

I’m speaking this Sunday in Irvine, CA.

I thought I’d forward you the info below in case (a) you want to attend or (b) you would like to read some of the ideas of Ava Park, who is an amazing spiritual leader and author.  Ava has taught me so much about the Queen archetype.

My approach to dating, is a combination of my interpretation of The Rules, feminism, studying women’s history, and what I’ve learned from Ava.

If you can’t make it in-person and would like the audio, just click ‘Reply’ to this message, put “Yes, please” in the subject line, and I will get the audio to you next week.

Happy Valentine’s Weekend!   I bet you’re feeling extra-revved up to find love.  So, let’s channel it toward your love aspirations.  Want to be engaged by the end of 2016?  Then you better start taking action!

Your mission for the weekend – do one thing each day for self-care (exercise, massage, seeing a friend, meditating, going to church, etc.) and do one thing toward your dating goals.  Remember, it’s the dead-zone so you cannot reach out to men on the weekend – no texting, calling, or emailing!!!  Maybe your action item in the dating category will be to pick up All The Rules so you can start getting well-versed in these strategies.  Perhaps if you’re feeling super-sexy with all the love in the air, this weekend is a perfect time to get all dolled up (if you don’t have dates) and have your friend take pics of you to put on your online dating profile.  Then, go out to a singles event or another place where the men are so you can be admired.

Have a lovely day!

Xoxo,

Charlotte

How To Get the Video from My Recent Presentation

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Hi Lovelies,

Did you have a fab Valentine’s Day?  I hope so!

Love is in the air and now is the time to create your very own Man-ifestation Plan.*

A snippet from my presentation on Valentine’s Day.  

The Rules magnetize go-getter, pro-active type-of-men and weed out lazies. A pro-active man makes plans, brings flowers, treats you like a priority by asking you out by Wednesday for Saturday, and asks you to marry him within a year or two.

Empower yourself with this presentation and make this the year you meet Mr. Right.

For my entire 30 minute presentation I did on Valentine’s Day, with PowerPoint and Audio, send $29 to me on Paypal (Charlotte[dot]Cressey@gmail.com) and you will receive the link and password to watch it on Vimeo.

As always, feel free to email or call me with questions about TR or this offering.

And, if you’re seeking Rules Coaching, I’d be delighted to support you.

Love, love, love,
Charlotte

 

*Mani-festation Plan – a term I learned from a fabulous love coach, Lauren Frances.  She is of a different philosophy in some areas than me, but definitely worth checking out her work!  http://laurenfrances.com

Make Yourself Scarce and Increase Your Value

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Make Yourself Scarce and Increase Your Value – DISAPPEARING BETWEEN DATES

Q & A Time….  Here’s a question from a fellow Rules Woman.

Subject
Disappearing between dates.
Message
Hello Charlotte,

I have problems with the “disappearing between dates” thing. The man I’m dating is very kind and sends me little lovely messages between dates. Am I supposed to ignore every single one? Or can I answer now and again?

Hi Rules Woman,So happy you’re using The Rules so you can have boundaries and build self-esteem as you date.

To answer your question…  Yes, that’s correct you should essentially disappear between dates.  Give him room to want you.  Give him space to come your way.  

As far as responding to his flattery and sweet messages:

It depends on how long you’ve been dating, what the level of commitment is, how everything else is going in the relationship.   So, I am assuming this is courtship phase and everything else is pretty Rulesy.

I wouldn’t worry about responding if I were you.

You can wait for 4-5 to pile up and text back “Thanks.”

Other Rules coaches have suggested letting a few pile up, then saying “Thanks, crazy busy with work.”  But, for me personally I don’t use the phrase ‘crazy busy’.  Like Aphrodite or any other self-assured woman, we know that our power comes from our calm even though we do definitely have a very rich, fulfilling, and fun schedule (what some may call crazy busy).  

Maybe in-person on a date you can mention how you appreciate his kind messages.  Just very simply say, ‘thanks for xyz, that was sweet’.  But, I wouldn’t make a big deal of it.
Again, don’t be the overeager puppy.  Be grateful and appreciative, but not as if his words fill a hole in your self-esteem.  You’re already confident, and beautiful inside and out.  It’s nice to be appreciated, but you do not depend on his words – nor hang on them.  

You know you’re an amazing woman and you are used to receiving praise from men.  You’re not like, “what?  he thinks I’m beautiful… awwww.  Wow…” Even if you feel that way on the inside, just exude the confidence of a queen.  Build yourself up inside until you really believe it.  Words are nice, we all know actions speak louder than words.  Let him prove himself over time through his consistent attention, respect, and care for you.

This is a lesson for us all – learn to become less dependent on approval from men to know your worth.  Become self-defined, self-possessed, and self-referenced.  A-woman.  

With love and gratitude,
Charlotte

P.S.  Rules Ladies… Submit YOUR questions at the bottom of this page.  http://datingtheaphroditeway.com or post directly to my new fb page https://www.facebook.com/datingtheaphroditeway/. If you haven’t yet liked and started following my page, please do!  I appreciate your support!  

“You’re So Shy!” Should You Reply?

Charlotte CresseyUncategorizedLeave a Comment

“You’re So Shy!”  Should You Reply?

Q & A Time….  Here’s a question from a fellow Rules Woman.

 

If a man sends you a first email on a dating site, then he keeps asking you questions and says “gee you’re so quiet and shy?”   What do I say to that ?

Dear Rules Woman,Firstly, I want to say this is my perspective and other Rules coaches may say something different.

However, I would not say anything to this comment from a man on a dating site.

If you’re in-person and he says it, I would just ‘smile’ and say nothing.  If he keeps saying it, you can say ‘perhaps’ in a questioning, flirty way.  But, never claim it and say, “yes, you’re right I’m shy” or try to explain it.  Don’t be like, “well, we just met, etc.”

This is not something you have to respond to.  Remember, you are busy and have a life.  The only question you need to respond to is ‘yes or no’ when he suggests a date, moving the relationship forward, or proposes.  And, even then, wait a few moments before responding.  Don’t be like an overeager puppy.  hahahah :))))))
Best wishes on the Rulesy Road.
With love and gratitude,
Charlotte